Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ugly people sure do ruin things
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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