I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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