fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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