So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So vagazzling was a success
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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