After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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