he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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