did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
