sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
