i just google imaged poop.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
