ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
