girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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