So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize