Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
