Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize