well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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