yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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