I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
