He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
