I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
