idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
