just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You don't make any sense
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