We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
