you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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