covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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