I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
