I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
