Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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