he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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