I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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