Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
