I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
