I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
