last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
