dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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