People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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