He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Houston, we have a squirter
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
