i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
