It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
