"it" just moved
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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