We're facebook friends in real life
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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