Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
