What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize