I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
