just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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