saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
