Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
