my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
