my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
