I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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