who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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