he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
