remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if i died would you start the facebook group?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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