Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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