i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
