It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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