marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
