drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
