do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
