It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize